II: Joy

Joy

  • Defining Joy
    • Joy: twofold quality of appreciation of and gratitude for the little, moment-to-moment happinesses + deeper contentedness, independent of conditions
    • Joy as our true nature.  Joy is at the core of who we are.  Often surrounded by layers of thoughts, experiences, stories that may or may not be helpful/useful to us.  Noticing, what is obscuring my joy?  What is supporting my joy?
      • Poke holes in the stories!
    • Not a spiritual bypass.  Rather, noticing what has arisen, what is arising, being with it with equanimous acceptance, and seeing where the joy (or absence of joy) is in this.
    • Feeling the joy in our bodies
    • Joy as an object of awareness in meditation (and life!)
    • There will always be joy again, because joy is the true nature of the human being.
    • Meeting the challenge of being human with joy and compassion at center and forefront.
    • Happiness: conditional; Joy: unconditional
      • Happy experiences as beads on the necklace of joy
      • Surface as changing, transient conditions; deep ocean below = joy.
    • Joy is a learned skill.
  • Cultivating Joy
    • Conditioning Our Minds to Seek Joy
      • Amygdala: fight or flight brain structure, runs us for first 20 years.  Lots of survivalist reactivity, conscious attention given to negative experiences.  Neural wiring = habitual, negative reactivity
      • PFC (Prefrontal Cortex): executive function brain structure, fully formed after 20 years; wise place.  Give conscious attention to positive experiences!  Responsive.  Forming the habit forms the connections.  Orienting to the positive, the joy.
      • Takes 3 (to 7) positive experiences to counter 1 negative one.  
      • Habit requires active formation.
    • Cultivating Joy In the Face of Negative Emotions
      • Question "mental toxins": obsession, wanting, greed, hatred, delusion
        • Composting these; biodegrade.  Let go of the waste, but take up the nutrients!
        • Anger has a poison root and a honey tip.  Feels good to be on "just," "right" side, but at the root, usually only causes us suffering.
      • Which wolf do you want to feed? *
        • This takes work!  Ask yourself often.
      • Heart/mind practice, not just mind.
        • Supporting our own stability
      • Negative bias = amygdala hijack!
        • Mindfulness 8 week courses show amygdala shrinks!
        • Coming into present moment rewires amygdala, strengthens present-moment connections, and decreases reactivity!
        • Reprogramming the "what's wrong?" habit
        • Reminding ourselves are are safe increases our trust and steadiness
      • Obstacles to joy: aversion, difficult emotions
      • Draw on your resources to meet the challenges.
      • When meeting negative thinking:
        1. Bring self to present
        2. Am I safe?
        3. What is the most useful way I can frame (or reframe) this?
        4. RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Non-Identification)
        5. Bring forgiveness (to self)
  • Orienting to Joy
    • Happy/positive emotions as stepping stones for joy.
    • Attune to little joys, big joys, deeper joys... many flavors of joy.
    • Giving self permission to experience/notice joy
    • Looking for joy on the street, on the freeway, in my food, in strangers interacting, common humanity; orienting to the Universal Self
    • Our basic nature, our means and expression of connection is joy!
    • Using gratitude as a stepping stone or gateway to joy.
    • Appreciative Joy
      • Appreciative (sympathetic) joy: joy for the joy of another
      • Obstacles: competition, jealousy, envy, comparing mind; deeply rooted, toxic habits
      • Developing the habit of joy
      • If wishing someone ill-will, look at own heart; what is going on within me as I feel this?  Recognize causes and conditions to get here, for them and for you.
      • We do have a choice!  Appreciative joy feeds our joy wolf * just as firsthand joy does.
      • Appreciative joy makes compassion more sustainable.
    • Equanimity
      • Equanimity: feeling the breadth of experience and letting it move through you; letting go.  Radical permission to feel.
      • Our practice has three parts:
        1. Recognize
        2. Feel
        3. Soften (equanimity)
      • Releasing the grip.  Decreasing suffering through decreasing resistance and clinging
      • Life in a more fluid state.  Calm, clarity.
      • When we resist what is, we are not being equanimous.
      • Offer space to notice what is there.
      • Not identifying with emotional states
      • To lessen enmeshment: soften, and let go.
      • Letting experience move through us, rather than getting distance.  Non-friction.  Meet our experience.
      • Feel it, but let go.
      • Builds resistance to meet what is and survive it!
      • Events = what happens to us; always changing, and not who we are.
      • One equanimous person changes the entire energy of the space.  Be the equanimous person on the boat!
      • Naming (this is mania, depression, balance) enables us to hold with kindness and to disidentify.
        • I can't control the circumstances, but I can influence how I respond.
      • Being the strainer = giving space to let things come in and move through without attaching to them
    • Integrity
      • Commitments to acting out joy, out of joy, out of expansiveness, vastneness, our true nature:
        1. Do no harm
        2. Do unto others as you'd have done to you
        3. Live from a place of dignity
      • Asking, is my speech authentic?  Am I respecting life?
      • Committing to non-harm toward others, world, and self.
      • Asking, does how I live align with my values?
  • Practices
    • Joy Support Practices
      • Setting a Joy Intention: set an intention regarding your relationship with joy.  Add to morning and evening practice, put on post-it notes in room and car, remind yourself!
        • Example: "May I activate and open to the joy in my heart."
      • Keep a "Joy Journal": notice the joy in your life and write it down
      • Do something Creative/Artistic: art and creativity can be windows to our innate joy
      • "Joy Buddy": find a buddy to share joy with!  Send a message or a photo when you are experiencing joy.  Fosters appreciative joy, and orients us to the joys in our lives.
    • Meeting Negative Thinking
      1. Presence ○
      2. Safe? ✕ 
      3. Reframe? ☐
      4. RAIN  ۵
      5. Forgive ♥
    • What Gets in the Way of Experiencing Joy?
      • HALT Practice
        • When feeling off, ask self, am I...
          • Hungry?
          • Angry?
          • Lonely?
          • Tired?
        • Responding instead of reacting.  Identifying these states can orient us to the present, and to the possibility of the joy there.  Take care of your needs, and add self-compassion.
    • Impermanence Practice
      • Orient to noticing when things end.  All things end; endings are new beginnings!
      • Say "gone" - at end of sounds, events, breaths, etc.  Impermanence on all scales.

* This refers to a story in which a grandfather describes to his grandson two wolves fighting inside him: one that is evil (angry, jealous, vengeful, and miserable), and one that is good (peaceful, kind, joyful, and happy).  The boy asks, "Which wolf will win?"  The grandfather answers, "The wolf you feed." *

Thich Nhat Hanh Monastery Song

Happiness is here and now
I have dropped my worries
Nowhere to go, nothing to do
There's no need for hurry.

Happiness is here and now
I have dropped my worries
Somewhere to go, something to do
But, there's no need for hurry.



Notes from MARC MAPS II: Joy, taught by Gloria Kamler, July 12, 2018 - August 16, 2018.

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