II: Cultivating Positive Emotions

Cultivating Positive Emotions

In Buddhism, these four attitudes are said to be sublime because they are the right way of conduct towards living beings (sattesu samma patipatti). They provide the answer to all situations arising from social contact. (source)

Equanimity: to be in harmony with what is; non-attachment to positive or negative emotions
Relaxing enough to find balance

Sending love to ourselves, to others, to all beings
When we are upset about something, it is often because we do not understand something.
LK to ourselves: asking, what helps re-source me?
Removing misconceptions from a perfectionist society: we are worthy of love! We are good enough! We are whole.
Find the kindness in your body and breath. Invoke gratitude, self-love.
Savoring the goodness in our lives without clinging to it; exploring it in its present moment.
Rumi poem: "clearing ourselves out for new delight"

Generosity: giving, letting go, without the expectation of reciprocity
Facet of loving kindness
Transferrable - seeing generosity in others invokes generosity in self
Valuing others begets generosity
Opposite of generosity = clinging, holding tightly; creates dichotomies and discontentment
Generosity, giving, is an act of contentment.
The most generous thing you can do for yourself, and for others, is letting go.

Crux of generosity: putting others' needs and hopes before one's own. Must be balanced with loving-kindness, take care of self as well.
Form of generosity to accept the generosity of others.

Compassion: willingness to feel and alleviate the suffering of another
True acceptance, unconditional care
Not pity, but willingness to feel what they are feeling
Beyond empathy; really feeling the difficulty
Breathe in what they feel, breathe out care.
"This is suffering" = holding on
"Is there an option here?" = letting go
Compassion is a practice of balance. Balance compassion with equanimity.
Natural response is to pull away from pain, but it is healing to accept, recognize, and send kindness to the pain. This is connecting.
Step 1: Knowing what suffering is ("This is suffering")
Step 2: Knowing that there is a choice to let go ("Can I let go?")
Being more loving to one another. Compassion = getting out of the self.

Joy: at the core of who we are; our heart; basis = connectedness; intuitive state of contentedness
Appreciative Joy (sympathetic joy): joy for the joy of another

Mirror neurons; basking in another's joy
Opposite = sigmafreud, happiness for someone else's misfortune; disconnects, closes off, separates

Feed and cultivate the qualities that mirror joy. Listen to the happiness of others and help them savor their positive feelings. Feel the good in others. And let someone enjoy your joy along with you.
Joy for the ultimate self, as well as the relative self.
When not experiencing appreciative joy: is there an unmet need?

Gratitude: the conscious choice to be grateful
Deep appreciation for who has loved you into being. Reconnects you to fabric of being, and especially to those for whom you are grateful.
Gratitude opens the heart. Feels good to be grateful.
We cannot feel another emotion at the same time that we are feeling gratitude.
Appreciative joy is a form of gratitude. Connecting you to your joy and others'.
What gets in the way: not feeling deserving, planning, overcomplicating
Find gratitude organically; marinate in the goodness and appreciation for what is
Simplify. Gratitude for a bed, a body, earth, blue sky, food, connections, what is in front of our eyes. Attuning ourselves to the goodness.
End day with appreciation for that day.
"The more you become a connoisseur of gratitude, the less you are a victim of resentment, depression, and despair."

"May I (/you/all beings) know balance and peace."
"May I know that all created things arise and pass away. May I rest at peace in the midst of the changing world."
"May I know that all beings are heirs to their own karma; their lives arise and pass according to the conditions and deeds created by them, and not my wishes for them. May I rest in equanimity and the great natural balance of heart."

"May I (/you/all beings) be free of pain, be free of sorrow, and know peace."
Breathe in: "this is suffering"; Breathe out: care, softening, letting go; get space. "Is there an option here?" or "I care about you"

Notes from MARC MAPS II: Cultivating Positive Emotions, taught by Gloria Kamler, February 1, 2018 - February 22, 2018.

Mindfulness through a Student's Notebook